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Bhajan: Amar Jivan

Amar Jivan
My Life
(from Saranagati)
Text One
amara jivana, sada pape rata,
nahiko punyera lesa
parere udvega, diyachi ye koto,
diyachi jivere klesa
 
amara — my; jivana — life; sada — always; pape — in sinful activities; rata — engaged; nahiko — there is not; punyera — of pious activities; lesa — a trace; parere — to others; udvega — anxiety; diyachi — I am inclined to give; ye — who; koto — great; diyachi — I give; jivere — to living entities; klesa — suffering.
TRANSLATION
My life is always engaged in sinful activities, without a trace of pious activities. I am always inclined to give great anxiety and trouble to other living entities.
 
Text Two
nija sukha lagi', pape nahi dori,
daya-hina svartha-paro
para-sukhe duhkhi, sada mithya-bhasi,
para-duhkha sukha-karo
 
nija — my own; sukha — sense gratification; lagi' — for; pape — in sinful activity; nahi — there is no; dori — restraint; daya — mercy; hina — devoid of; sva-artha — to my personal interest; paro — I am dedicated; para — of others; sukhe — in the happiness; duhkhi — I am unhappy; sada — always; mithya — false; bhasi — words; para — of others; duhkha — the misery; sukha — my happiness; karo — makes.
TRANSLATION
For my personal sense gratification, I never reject any kind of sinful activity. I am not at all merciful, and I see only to my personal interest. When others are suffering I become very happy, I am always speaking lies, and if someone is suffering, that is very pleasant to me.
Text Three
asesa kamana, hrdi majhe mora,
krodhi, dambha-parayana
mada-matta sada, visaye mohita,
himsa-garva vibhusana
 
asesa — endless; kamana — material desires; hrdi — the heart;  majhe — in; mora — my; krodhi — I am angry; dambha — to deceit; parayana — dedicated; mada — mad; matta — with intoxication; sada — always; visaye — in sense gratification; mohita — captivated; himsa — malice; garva — false pride; vibhusana — ornaments.
TRANSLATION
I have lots of material desires within my heart and am always angry and deceitful. I am captivated by subject matters of sense gratification and am almost crazy. My ornaments are malice and false pride.
Text Four
nidralasya hata, sukarye virata,
akarye udyogi ami
pratistha lagiya, sathya-acarana,
lobha-hata sada kami
 
nidra — by sleep; alasya — by laziness; hata — attacked; sukarye — to pious activities; virata — averse; akarye — of impious activities; udyogi — a performer; ami — I am; pratistha — prestige; lagiya — for the sake of; sathya — cheating; acarana — behavior; lobha — by greed; hata — conqured; sada — always; kami — a lusty person.
TRANSLATION
I am conquered by sleep and laziness and am always averse to pious activities, but I am very enthusiastic to perform impious activities. I always cheat others for my prestige, I am conquered by greed, and I am always lusty.
Text Five
e heno durjana, saj-jana-varjita,
aparadhi nirantara
subha-karya-sunya, sadanartha-manah,
nana duhkhe jara jara
 
e — a;  heno — such; durjana — fallen person; saj-jana — with devotees of the Lord; varjita — devoid of association; aparadhi — an offender; nirantara — always; subha — auspicious; karya — activity; sunya — devoid; sada — always; anartha — mischievous; manah — mind; nana — all kinds of; duhkhe — sufferings; jara jara — very old age.
TRANSLATION
I am so fallen, I have no association with devotees, and I am always an offender. In my life there is not a bit of auspicious activity, and my mind is always attracted by something mischievous. Therefore, at the fag end of my life I have become almost an invalid because of all such sufferings.
Text Six
bardhakye ekhona, upaya-vihina,
ta'te dina akincana
bhakativinoda, prabhura carane,
kore duhkha nivedana
 
bardhakye — in old age; ekhona — now; upaya — an alternative means; vihina — without; tate — therefore; dina — humble; akincana — poor; bhakativinoda —  Bhaktivinoda; prabhura — of the Lord; carane — to the lotus feet; kore — makes; duhkha — with sadness; nivedana — offering.
TRANSLATION
Now in my old age, with no alternative, I have by force become very humble and meek. Thus Bhaktivinoda offers this sad statement of his life's activities at the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord.
Purport to Amar Jivan
by His Divine Grace
 A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
 
 
Amara jivana sada pape rata nahiko punyera lesa. This is a song sung by Bhaktivinoda Thakura in Vaisnava humbleness. A Vaisnava is always meek and humble. So he is describing the life of the people in general, taking himself to be one of them. He says that "My life is always engaged in sinful activities, and if you try to find out, you will not find even a trace of pious activities — only sinful activities." And parere udvega, diyachi ye koto, diyachi jivere klesa: "I am always inclined to give trouble to other living entities. That is my business. I want to see that others are suffering, and then I enjoy." Nija sukha lagi', pape nahi dori: "For my personal sense gratification, I accept any kind of sinful activity." Daya-hina svartha-paro: "I am not at all merciful, and I see only to my personal interest." Para-sukhe duhkhi, sada mithya-bhasi: "As such, when others are suffering I become very happy, and I am always speaking lies. Even for ordinary things I am accustomed to speaking lies." Para-duhkha sukha-karo: "And if someone is suffering, that is very pleasant to me." Asesa kamana, hrdi majhe mora: "I have got lots of desires within my heart, and I am always angry and falsely prestigious, always puffed up with false pride." Mada-matta sada visaye mohita: "I am captivated by subject matters of sense gratification, and I am almost crazy." Himsa-garva vibhusana: "My ornaments are enviousness and false pride." Nidralasya hata, sukarye virata: "I am conquered by sleep and laziness, and I am always averse to pious activities." Akarye udyogi ami: "And I am very enthusiastic to perform impious activities." Pratistha lagiya sathya-acarana: "I always cheat others for my prestige." Lobha-hata sada kami: "I am conquered by greediness and always lusty." E heno durjana saj-jana-varjita: "I am so fallen, and I have no association with devotees." Aparadhi nirantara: "I am an offender always." Subha-karya-sunya: "In my life there is not a bit of auspicious activity"; sadanartha manah: "and my mind is always attracted by something mischievous." Nana duhkhe jara jara: "Therefore, at the fag end of my life I am almost invalid by all such sufferings." Bardhakye ekhona upaya-vihina: "Now in my old age I have no alternative"; ta'te dina akincana: "therefore by force I have now become very humble and meek." Bhakativinoda prabhura carane, kore duhkha nivedana: "Thus Bhaktivinoda Thakura is offering his sad statement of his life's activities at the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord."
 
>>> Ref. VedaBase => SVA 2: Purport to Amar Jivan

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"The process is how to think of Krsna. Man-mana bhava mad-bhaktah. This is meditation. So this... By kirtana it becomes very easy. If you chant Hare Krsna maha-mantra twenty-four hours like Haridasa Thakura... That is not possible. So as much as possible... Tirtha-yasasa. Kirtana, this is also kirtana. We are talking about Krsna, reading about Krsna, reading Krsna's instruction in the Bhagavad-gita or reading Krsna's glories in the Srimad-Bhagavatam. They are all kirtana. It is not that simply when we sing with musical instruments, that is kirtana. No. Anything you talk about Krsna, that is kirtan."
~ from Srila Prabhupada's lecture on Srimad Bhagavatam 3.28.18 on October 27, 1975 in Nairobi

Srila Prabhupada ~ " Simply our prayer should be, My dear Krishna, please remind me to always chant Your Holy Name, please do not put me into forgetfulness. You are sitting within me as Supersoul, so you can put me into forgetfulness or into remembering You. So please do not put me into forgetfulness. Please always remind me to chant, even You send me into the hell, it doesn't matter, just so long as I can always chant Hare Krishna..."

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